The little things

I’m sure I have heard it before that it’s not fighting cancer it’s fighting all the little things. That is definitely the case with me today. It’s how I couldn’t sleep because the medicine had me all blocked up and very uncomfortable. My port is still sore and I can’t really sleep on that side. It’s how my nose was stuffed up and then bloody and I have pink eye for some reason? I was convinced the dog peed somewhere but couldn’t look around because it was the middle of the night. Then I took a bath in the middle of the night to attempt to calm the f down.
Every day it’s the little things, It’s the appointments changing and the labs getting lost, it’s wanting your hoodie dry before your appointment it’s wanting to eat some amazing thing your honey made but you just can’t. It’s hard. It’s not for the weak y’all.

That said first chemo went well y’all. My dr confirmed the pathology that it is breast cancer in my liver and we took our first attack on it today. My Dr is giddy, no really, about this treatment plan. I mean really excited, it’s just right for me. So they accessed the port they put in Monday and went at it. I’m still a little uncomfortable from my innards being bound up (sorry tmi) but all in all not to bad. Because the tv I sat near had Supernatural and Bones on it the nurses kept bringing me delicious tea, Stacy picked me up with trashy magazines and gum and M Continue reading


Change of battleground.

About a week ago I finally went to my Dr. because I was feeling crap. They ran a gigillions blood tests and a CT of my chest right away. The Dr called me back and said there are lesions on my liver that are indicative of the cancer being back. Shit. He was also concerned that that it had spread to my brain. F-word. Friday we did another CT scan, an infusion of something to get my calcium levels down and a bone scan. This morning I did an MRI and met with my Doc. Happily the MRI and bone scan came back normal. I did see the word “un impressive” somewhere on the results sheet about the brain scan- rude.

That brings us to the cancer in the liver. My first reaction was “ok let’s knock it out, let’s do this” but I found out you don’t get rid of cancer in your liver. Not permanently. You treat it, you control it to the best of your ability, a while later, it comes back, JERK! Luckily I am, relatively, young and new developments come daily. That definitely breeds optimism.

So what now?
Next I will get a biopsy to prove what my Dr. Knows suspects about the type of the “highly advanced” cancer. I will get a port and start chemo as soon as possible. More on that when I know.

I have reached a heart breaking level of exhaustion. I am rivaling the cats in hours of sleep and I have to take a sit down halfway between the bedroom and the washing machine. That said I’m sorry if I couldn’t call and let you know what is going on. Even small tasks are pretty tiring to me. I will do my darnedest to keep everyone up to date here. I think there is some kind of way to subscribe if you wish. Otherwise thank you everyone for happy thoughts and vibes or prayers or whatever it is you do. I feel every las one and it helps me so so much.